Well one of the prods that got me to write this blog is I was on msn the other day and I read this article about the non-talked about subject of infertility and found this great webpage with videos. The videos are of movie stars as well as everyday people telling there story. A story that needs to be told so other women can know they are not alone. Here is a link for the site.
http://www.redbookmag.com/health-wellness/advice/infertility-video-series#v1211445025001
God Bless~Stephanie
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Where I am today
Where I am today is in a good place. At this point I am working on preparing my body by making better eating habits and exercise. I am really trying to focus on me physically and spiritually speaking. I am not working on any projects which has been a nice change and I am working on getting Stephanie in a calm state which I haven't been in a long time. I am currently doing a bible study called, "Captivating" and it has been helping me see what the Lord calls us to be as a woman and I am truly enjoying my quiet time with the Lord.
Earlier this year the devil tried to shed doubt in my mind and say, "What if it doesn't work?" well after praying about this the Lord turned this around for me and said "What if it does work?" So that is what I am focusing on. I have a huge goal ahead of me but with the Lord's help and my husband working right beside me we can do this together. We are looking at possibly doing invitro some time later this year depending on where we are in our life and yes I am scared but I know the Lord has sustained me this long and he will see me thru. The invitro process will be a very intense process but once again the Lord will be right beside me holding my hand.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of our mercies and God of all comfortt, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction wth the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
Isiah 40:31 "Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."
Phillipians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus
God Bless~Stephanie
Earlier this year the devil tried to shed doubt in my mind and say, "What if it doesn't work?" well after praying about this the Lord turned this around for me and said "What if it does work?" So that is what I am focusing on. I have a huge goal ahead of me but with the Lord's help and my husband working right beside me we can do this together. We are looking at possibly doing invitro some time later this year depending on where we are in our life and yes I am scared but I know the Lord has sustained me this long and he will see me thru. The invitro process will be a very intense process but once again the Lord will be right beside me holding my hand.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of our mercies and God of all comfortt, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction wth the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
Isiah 40:31 "Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."
Phillipians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus
God Bless~Stephanie
Protection of your heart
Some of the things I have learned thru this process is that the devil likes chaos and when you are having infertility issues it causes chaos. One of the most important things to do is to get grounded in the word of God and lots of prayers. I found that is the only thing that has helped me thus far and there would be many times that I would hear from a friend or family member not knowing what I am feeling that day say "the Lord had you on my heart and I have been praying for you." You do not know how that makes me feel knowing the Lord has not abandoned me he is reminding me daily that he knows my heart and will heart that brokenness of it. Also secondly guard your marriage. I can't say enough about that the devil likes to use this as a wedge and as this time it may even be good to speak to a counselor. Infertility is hard and as a woman we are emotional and for a man they want to fix and with this they can't fix so it get tough in your marriage. I have to say that we had our ups and downs but we are closer now than ever and I love my husband dearly for putting up with an emotional mess that I have been for the past couple of years. Repeat love on each other more than ever and be on guard because marriages are under attack and with a biggie like this protect it with the Holy Spirit wrapped around your home. Also my friend recommended a website for me to check out called Sarah's Laughter www.sarahs-laughter.com/ and I am subscribed to a daily email of encouragement and they also have a great bible study too that I am doing. Lastly I have found a support group in my area for infertility and it has been great because I can go there and talk to other women about how I feel or what tests are being done, etc. and they understand exactly what I am going thru. One thing I have learned is that people don't really understand what you are going thru unless they too have been thru infertility and when I would participate in that group I no longer felt alone and I knew that there are other women that have the same feelings as me that truly understand the pain and we all get to love on each other.
The Lord is good always ~Stephanie
The Lord is good always ~Stephanie
Snapshot of my journey thus far
Romans 6:13b "Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes."
This blog is my praise blog and it will detail my heart leading to the blessing of children that I know the Lord will bless Terrance and I with one day. This journey did not start here but now that we know what our roadblocks are I am relying on the Lord more than I have ever before. This journey started almost 7 years ago when Terrance and I got married and we agreed we would have children once we got out of debt because we had founded our marriage on Dave Ramsey's financial principles. We thought out plans would work out just that way or so we thought...Then after about 4 years of marriage we decided to start trying and nothing was happening. All of my friends and family would say, "relax, just give it time, do this, or buy this predictor kit," let's just say nothing would work. I was very frustrated and I knew that something had to be wrong because getting pregnant was not coming easy for me. I ended up getting a new OBGYN doctor and she then said it is time for me to see a specialist in fertility and see what is causing this. At this point I was thinking surely nothing it wrong and it just hasn't happened but then we went and the bomb was dropped. We were told that the likelyhood of us getting pregnant would be under 5% naturally speaking and that more than likely the only way we would get pregnant is thru invitro. Talk about a sucker punch to the stomach. At this point invitro was very foreign to me the only thing I knew was that my insurance would not pay for it and it was a very expensive procedure. I then went into panic mode. Fortunately I have precious family and friends and they too had friends that had been given this as their only option and I was able to get Christian counseling thru them as well as I sought professional Christian counseling and it really helped put my heart back on a solid foundation. I also sought the Lord and asked if this is his will for us that he would provide the funds somehow for us to be able to do this procedure or show us what we are supposed to do. Well in a nut shell he has provided the money and for that I am so thankful for and we hope to do this before the end of the year. This is just the overall picture of what our story is. This snapshot does not show all of the many days and nights of crying and hurting because I am sewing a baby item for a baby shower or how do I make it thru another Mother's Day knowing that once again I am not a mother even though I desperately want to be? I remember one time a couple of years ago I was asking the Lord to speak to me and give me a sign and he did thru a sermon that I went to. I'll never forget it the sermon was titled, "When we feel God is delayed." I can't tell you how many times I felt that way but I know my trial in my life was meant for me and that the Lord knows my heart and desires and will allow his perfect will to be done in his time.
Sorry my writings are long I have a lot on my heart that the Lord wants me to get out.
God Bless~Stephanie
This blog is my praise blog and it will detail my heart leading to the blessing of children that I know the Lord will bless Terrance and I with one day. This journey did not start here but now that we know what our roadblocks are I am relying on the Lord more than I have ever before. This journey started almost 7 years ago when Terrance and I got married and we agreed we would have children once we got out of debt because we had founded our marriage on Dave Ramsey's financial principles. We thought out plans would work out just that way or so we thought...Then after about 4 years of marriage we decided to start trying and nothing was happening. All of my friends and family would say, "relax, just give it time, do this, or buy this predictor kit," let's just say nothing would work. I was very frustrated and I knew that something had to be wrong because getting pregnant was not coming easy for me. I ended up getting a new OBGYN doctor and she then said it is time for me to see a specialist in fertility and see what is causing this. At this point I was thinking surely nothing it wrong and it just hasn't happened but then we went and the bomb was dropped. We were told that the likelyhood of us getting pregnant would be under 5% naturally speaking and that more than likely the only way we would get pregnant is thru invitro. Talk about a sucker punch to the stomach. At this point invitro was very foreign to me the only thing I knew was that my insurance would not pay for it and it was a very expensive procedure. I then went into panic mode. Fortunately I have precious family and friends and they too had friends that had been given this as their only option and I was able to get Christian counseling thru them as well as I sought professional Christian counseling and it really helped put my heart back on a solid foundation. I also sought the Lord and asked if this is his will for us that he would provide the funds somehow for us to be able to do this procedure or show us what we are supposed to do. Well in a nut shell he has provided the money and for that I am so thankful for and we hope to do this before the end of the year. This is just the overall picture of what our story is. This snapshot does not show all of the many days and nights of crying and hurting because I am sewing a baby item for a baby shower or how do I make it thru another Mother's Day knowing that once again I am not a mother even though I desperately want to be? I remember one time a couple of years ago I was asking the Lord to speak to me and give me a sign and he did thru a sermon that I went to. I'll never forget it the sermon was titled, "When we feel God is delayed." I can't tell you how many times I felt that way but I know my trial in my life was meant for me and that the Lord knows my heart and desires and will allow his perfect will to be done in his time.
Sorry my writings are long I have a lot on my heart that the Lord wants me to get out.
God Bless~Stephanie
Stronger
While on this journey I was pretty down one day and I had on Klove and the Lord used this song to minister to my soul and it has become my survivor song. The song is "Stronger" by Mandisa and below are the words:
Hey heard you were up all night
thinking about how your world ain’t right
and you’re wondering if things will never get better
And you’re asking
Why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of being there stuck out in the weather
Don’t sink your head
It’s gonna end
God’s right there
Even if it’s hard to see Him
I promise You that He’s still there
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger
Stronger
The pain ain’t gonna last forever
Things can only get better
Believe me this is gonna make you
Gonna make you stronger Oh-oh-oh
Stronger Oh-oh-oh
Stronger Oh-oh-oh
Believe me this is gonna make you
Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let me hold your hand
Go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh
Lift your head
It’s gonna end
God’s right there
Even when you just can’t feel Him
I promise you that He still can
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger
Stronger
The pain ain’t gonna last forever
Things can only get better
Believe me this is gonna make you stronger
‘Cuz if He’s strong in His Word
He’ll be faithful to complete it
He’s strong when you believe
He knows how much it hurts and
For sure he’s gonna help you get through this
In time, it’s gonna get better
Believe me Believe me
Hold on just a little bit longer
The pain ain’t gonna last forever
It’s only gonna make you stronger
Hey heard you were up all night
thinking about how your world ain’t right
and you’re wondering if things will never get better
And you’re asking
Why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of being there stuck out in the weather
Don’t sink your head
It’s gonna end
God’s right there
Even if it’s hard to see Him
I promise You that He’s still there
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger
Stronger
The pain ain’t gonna last forever
Things can only get better
Believe me this is gonna make you
Gonna make you stronger Oh-oh-oh
Stronger Oh-oh-oh
Stronger Oh-oh-oh
Believe me this is gonna make you
Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let me hold your hand
Go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh
Lift your head
It’s gonna end
God’s right there
Even when you just can’t feel Him
I promise you that He still can
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger
Stronger
The pain ain’t gonna last forever
Things can only get better
Believe me this is gonna make you stronger
‘Cuz if He’s strong in His Word
He’ll be faithful to complete it
He’s strong when you believe
He knows how much it hurts and
For sure he’s gonna help you get through this
In time, it’s gonna get better
Believe me Believe me
Hold on just a little bit longer
The pain ain’t gonna last forever
It’s only gonna make you stronger
Finally giving in to the Lord
Well after much prodding from the Lord I have decided to start blogging on my journey thru infertility and hopefully thru this blog help someone else that may be going this and give them encouragement. I know that by doing a blog on this matter I am putting myself out there for the world to see but my thought is that if the Lord is getting the glory from others seeing him work in my own heart then that is worth every tear that has been shed in my own experience. Since I have had a lot to happen over the past couple of years with this I will break it up into pieces so it will be easier to read vs. one big long post because I like to talk and have a lot to say on this matter. This blog is not meant for self-gratification in anyway nor is it a way for me to vent this is my true heart to be seen and hopefully it will touch someone out there that may not even be dealing with infertility but have their own trial that they are working thru with the Lord's help and give them hope for tomorrow.
God Bless ~ Stephanie
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