Romans 6:13b "Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes."
This blog is my praise blog and it will detail my heart leading to the blessing of children that I know the Lord will bless Terrance and I with one day. This journey did not start here but now that we know what our roadblocks are I am relying on the Lord more than I have ever before. This journey started almost 7 years ago when Terrance and I got married and we agreed we would have children once we got out of debt because we had founded our marriage on Dave Ramsey's financial principles. We thought out plans would work out just that way or so we thought...Then after about 4 years of marriage we decided to start trying and nothing was happening. All of my friends and family would say, "relax, just give it time, do this, or buy this predictor kit," let's just say nothing would work. I was very frustrated and I knew that something had to be wrong because getting pregnant was not coming easy for me. I ended up getting a new OBGYN doctor and she then said it is time for me to see a specialist in fertility and see what is causing this. At this point I was thinking surely nothing it wrong and it just hasn't happened but then we went and the bomb was dropped. We were told that the likelyhood of us getting pregnant would be under 5% naturally speaking and that more than likely the only way we would get pregnant is thru invitro. Talk about a sucker punch to the stomach. At this point invitro was very foreign to me the only thing I knew was that my insurance would not pay for it and it was a very expensive procedure. I then went into panic mode. Fortunately I have precious family and friends and they too had friends that had been given this as their only option and I was able to get Christian counseling thru them as well as I sought professional Christian counseling and it really helped put my heart back on a solid foundation. I also sought the Lord and asked if this is his will for us that he would provide the funds somehow for us to be able to do this procedure or show us what we are supposed to do. Well in a nut shell he has provided the money and for that I am so thankful for and we hope to do this before the end of the year. This is just the overall picture of what our story is. This snapshot does not show all of the many days and nights of crying and hurting because I am sewing a baby item for a baby shower or how do I make it thru another Mother's Day knowing that once again I am not a mother even though I desperately want to be? I remember one time a couple of years ago I was asking the Lord to speak to me and give me a sign and he did thru a sermon that I went to. I'll never forget it the sermon was titled, "When we feel God is delayed." I can't tell you how many times I felt that way but I know my trial in my life was meant for me and that the Lord knows my heart and desires and will allow his perfect will to be done in his time.
Sorry my writings are long I have a lot on my heart that the Lord wants me to get out.
God Bless~Stephanie
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