Faith as a Christian is so easy to have when everything
seems to be working out just the way we think we have planned out our life to
be but the true test is when you are not in control and all your have is
the Lord. I am in that boat right now
and let me just tell you sometimes it gets hard to breathe. Throughout my life there have been trials
with losing my dad at a young age to my mom working hard at being a single mom
to all the other things in the middle but God never forsake me and my family
and we came out on the other side. How
come now I start to fret, stress, and question how is my life plan going to
work out the way I want it to?
Life is hard! Living
in an imperfect Earth is hard! Not
knowing how you are going to become a Mom is even tougher. I know men don’t understand this but as a
young child you learn how to be a mother.
It has been so evident in seeing my sweet niece Ella mothering her
brother Ethan that the Lord gives us a maternal extinct that no one can take
away. The Lord has given me this desire
and as the years go by it gets stronger and stronger and after so many failed
attempts at IUI’s, IVF, and embryo adoption it has come to look me straight in
the eye that I am not in control and if I am going to become a mom only
the Lord can do that.
After lots of soul searching and prayer this year we have
been to an adoption information meeting as well as decided to get a second opinion
with another fertility doctor in our area.
I went in that meeting with the doctor with no hope because I felt that
we had done everything under the sun and he will probably confirm that what we
thought was we are done but he gave us a glimmer of hope. We are following thru with a laparoscopy
procedure on August 1st and doing 3 rounds of IUI’s and at that
point if a pregnancy doesn’t happen we will start the adoption process. Emotionally I didn’t know if I was up for the
possible disappointment but that is where the faith of a mustard seed comes
in. I want you all to help us in praying
that this is the answer and that the Lord will bless us with a family that we
so much desire to have. All I know is
when we have our children, and yes I did say children. I know that will be the end result one day, I
am not sure how but I have faith he will provide. I hope they see how having
faith in the Lord is all you need not man nor doctors. God is good and no matter what I believe his
plan is greater than mine.
Thank you all so much for your love and especially your
prayers.
-Stephanie
He
replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say
to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey
you.
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